Sandipon Purkayastha
(The writer is a brain-based life coach.
Guwahati. He can be reached at www.cocreatewithsandipon.in
Email: write2mesandipon@rediffmail.com)
I came across a young boy who had a vivid dream. He wanted the coveted Man-Booker Prize to be his; he had a deep conviction that his novel would attract it someday. Early, as a schoolboy, he persevered writing to his dream at home; he made stories to his dream by the street side; he produced fictions for the Tribune while in college. Devoid of a breakthrough, he kept writing to his breath exhausting so many times that he has almost ruined his dream at 29. He quit fiction-making! He was more realistic now; settled down, happily married with a decent job that society applauded him for.
A connection came about for me, while I crossed roads with him. You know why! - My personal story was not much different either. Evidence might just outcry at the account of the dreams that went assassinated; and it motors on.. Is the heap of falsehood conferred about heart-pounding dreams surely true? Yet, we were taught early to essay-in ‘My aim in life. Didn’t we so? What a muddle! Then why have we quit? What let the young boy banish his journey? The young boy absorbed: he needed to be practical with his dream. Lo and behold, he finally chose logic, much amidst a peculiar hiss he so experiences spot-on, in his every single cell. Well, millions of us on the planet merely survive so without a clue, whatsoever.
Study on the “Regrets of the Dying” by Bronie Ware (eminent Australian author and celebrated palliative carer) stands testimonial. The number one regret expressed by an overwhelming majority on their deathbed was this - “ I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself not what others have expected of me” (1). Yes! There seems to be a tidal brainwashing going on now on this planet and we are bewitched to lose sight of something that is infinitely true and intimate to us.
Eminent performance psychologist and Coach, Dr. Jim Loehr (of Human Performance Institute, Orlando) in his seminal work with athletes has helped thousands discover oneness with this infinite light (2). In his tutelage have grown 17 world-number-ones, including Olympic gold medalists, Grand-Slam champions & best-in-the-world business leaders (2). In a recent interview, Dr.Loehr points out that everybody wants to be number one but most people never have really thought of their preparation other than physical, bio-mechanical or competency oriented (2). For eg. In his dream’s wake, the boy doggedly persevered in his fiction-making, developed his literary skills and accessed publishing opportunities - all biomechanics and competency oriented. For an aspiring tennis player, the dogged workout is often done in his/her footwork movement, backhand drive, volleys etc.- again all biomechanics or physical. Dr. Loehr declares that despite all skills and abilities if we do not truly like the person we are becoming in the course of the chase, we’ll inevitably quit and settle for less (2). This is a tremendous insight: Our work on to the top is as much a preparation at the emotional, mental and character level as it is about physical or bio-mechanical training (2). This grand truth shines effulgent when we realize that our set goals do interact with a whole lot of living systems within, and also outside. As we set out chasing our goal, darkness & failures would inevitably to show up in some ways, be it in the game we play or in our relationships, finance, societal judgment etc and oftentimes we’ll be faced with extreme environments. At this point, the key is to sustain the chase and all that would matter here is the aspirant’s character. Character here means that one does it all every single day that he/she says is important in life (2). This will allow him (or her) in choosing an emotional domain that makes him (or her) feel self-liked and remain grounded amidst all the drama. Contemporary neuroscientists affirm that being self-liked is a powerful emotion that unlocks energy into the brain (3). And with optimization of our mental energy, we sustain our willingness & focus- we keep chasing on (4). Interestingly, contemporary researcher Tony Schwartz further adds that any sustainable high performance-chase manifests a very special energy that is only derived when we are capable not to overuse a virtue and also embrace its positive opposite (5). For eg, ‘Feeling Self-liked’- overusing it will lead to rudeness and will eventually cause one to experience bad energy, thereby losing the mental-energy of focus. Hence self-regard is to be accessed in parallel with its positive-opposite, which is ‘The need to give’.
So, rising up to win at the highest level is therefore a very special holistic work dealing with the whole person in us, every single day. The whole person (physical, emotional, mental & characteristically) has to be involved in building and expanding capacity to deal with high stress, to love the chase and to have a noble cause for the grand chase. Such a work on self is often co-created under the special tutelage of a qualified Life Coach or Performance Psychologist. Such distinctive coaching engagement is the best technology and tool available today to unlock human access on to one’s potential, because it serves the aspirant to really create a powerful change in his / her own ideas of himself / herself and turn his/her chase into a noble cause. No wonder, every single world-number-one irrespective of domain has a silent Coach in the background.
References:
(1) Ware. B . (2012, P. 37). The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. India. Hay House.
(2) Good Life Revolution. (Dec 3, 2014). Dr. Jim Loehr explains personal energy management. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.comwatchv=3 HsJhXsWerQ.
(3) Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. United States. Bantam Books.
(4) Talks at Google. (Feb 1, 2012). Kelly McGonigal : “The willpower instinct” / Talks at Google. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BXuZL1HAg
(5) TEDx Talks. (June 26, 2012). The way we’re working isn’t working: Tony Schwartz at TEDxMidwest. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smrMWv5rcCo