"Probably I won't go baideo. I've a few pending works to be completed today. I can give it a try if I have time; but you don't have to wait." Taking leave of her I hurried off to the main road.
Boarding comfortably on a reserved auto, I took out my cell phone to check if my lipstick and mascara was spread across the border.
I felt a surge of relief after knowing that everything was fine.
Apart from a few deviations, I enjoy this journey from home to office and back. This is the only time of the day that I can exclusively spend for myself. It is during this time that I quietly make a blueprint of the things to do. Besides, meeting an old acquaintance unexpectedly during an auto journey is an added joy to me.
As the auto passed by, I caught sight of four men carrying a dead body on a bier to the grave.The scene brought to my mind the sight of Ishika's mother being taken away to the crematorium the other day.
I didn't like this painful scene. I closed my eyes to shift attention.
Death is so cold!
So sad!!
The way a bird sheds the unwanted raindrops on its wings with a shrug, I tried to get thoughts of her out of my mind. The more I tried to forget, the more it wrapped around me up like a creeper.
Nobody knows what an ordeal a woman goes through in life, I thought to myself. Has anyone ever measured the depth of the wounds from where blood oozes out perpetually?
How impatiently this wretched woman must have been waiting for the heartless fiend!
…. No. I won't let it go like this. I must make an inquiry into the matter of negligence done to her.After all, she is also a woman who suffers the same pain and agony as I do. I must meet the outrageous husband whose nonchalance led the woman to the fatal end….
The honking horn of a car brought me back to my senses from oblivion. How long I had been waiting for traffic congestion to be cleared and to see the green light blink I don't know.
Suddenly a biker boy passed in high speed with an ear splitting sound. I had to put my fingers on my ears to avoid being disturbed by the noise. Life is a jest for these youngsters. I watched the mechanical business of the town in …. the ever busy pedestrian…. the impatient bikers…. the aromas of delicious food cooked by the street vendors… the pungent smell of littering… the welcoming gestures of the prostitutes in the periphery of Maloti hall to catch customers from the morning shows were enough to make me stoic to the city life.
Suddenly the auto stopped with a jerk. I asked the auto rickshaw driver why has he stopped.
''Madam, you have reached your destination.''
I was so immersed in my thoughts that I couldn't trace where have I reached. Paying the fare, I got off immediately.Though the actual distance between my house and bank is twenty minutes ride; it takes almost an hour to get through this traffic jam.
The rush in the bank is moderate today. Sitting on my chair I ordered a cup of tea in the bank canteen.
Then I switch on the computer and waited to see if the link is cleared. I have to enter and update customer's data and the process of opening account for the students which I couldn't complete yesterday due to down server.
Sipping the brimming tea, I remembered- the neighbors didn't like the idea of an engineer's family living in a tokoubasa all alone. Many in the neighborhood started gossiping that the man had started another household there as he was rarely seen in the vicinity. Ishika's mother justified the delay believing that he would take them soon if he could make it a little easier.
When Ishika's maternal grandmother found out Ishika's mother was pregnant, she left her younger daughter Irani to live with her.
My acquaintance with Ishika's mother was rather accidental. Once on my way back home we got down in the same stoppage. Unfortunately, Ishika's mother had no change with her. I agreed to pay her amount as I noticed her coming and going in front of my house sometimes in morning and evening. Paying the fare, we walked home together. Over the conversation I came to know that she is a beautician and the most of the women of the neighborhood got their beauty care done by her. I didn't hesitate to take the opportunity.Thus attachment grew and intimacy arose. This intimacy extended to Bhattacharjee baideo too.
Suddenly Ishika's mother stopped visiting us.One day on my way back from morning walk I stepped in their house to inquire about their wellbeing. She came out with her bulging womb.
''…. Hey Anita, you weren't supposed to avail leave today,'' Bontiba, the one sitting next to my cabin, asked.
''Yes baideo, I thought so; but I couldn't make up my mind. Finally, I left for office. Something unspeakable is agitating me in such a way that I find no peace.''
''You should speak out the things stirring inside.''
''Definitely. I'll unlock my heart soon.''
….Was it true what Rukmini told me the other day! People of neighborhood seen that middle aged womanizer coming there every now and then. How could a woman of his daughters age be the paramour of him - moving the mouse on the screen aimlessly I thought.
''Ma'am, is my account opening done?'' asked the lean boy standing beyond the glass cabin.
Taking my eyes off the computer screen I said- ''It's going on. Wait a while.''
This is the most irritating part of my job. To respond to everyone with a pretended politeness. …the toughest part comes when some customers argue for no issues at all and I find it hard to deal with patience and artificial smile.
While these bizarre thoughts were shuttling inside my mind, my cellphone vibrated. On screen were the words in green light- Ma calling.
Immediately I picked it up to answer her.
''Anita, Deuta isn't well. His blood sugar and creatinine level is rising. Doctor has prescribed an immediate dialysis.
I heard everything without any interruption.
Assuring her of my visit there next Saturday, I told ma to inform Riniba as well so that we sisters together may sort out a solution. Further, I requested ma not to take any decision on her own in these two days.
This phone call made me even more disappointed. My parents are ageing…. People become dependent in old age. How eagerly they wait for us to come on weekends!
I felt my eyes were wet.
What a blissful life my mother had lived without any heart burn or competition, unlike us! They had plenty of time for socializing. The neighbouring khuris, pehis and bormas thronged on our porch in the afternoon. Delousing each other, they shared everything from the old Balen's unzipped pants to the bedtime romance of the younger ones among them. It all sounded so very mysterious to me that I used to eavesdrop on everything whenever I get a chance. An unknown world of dream and fantasy opened before me. It was always a pleasant experience to hear them behind the screen.
''Ma'am, where should I go for availing the Auto Transfer facility?'' the middle aged man asked.
''Go to the second next table''- I said, pointing to the man sitting in the corner.
Then I engrossed myself in measuring the debit- credit of others life and adjusting their balance sheets with much agonies and utmost care.
When I was a girl, how foolishly I fancied that married is the end of every misfortune. It is a jolly ride full of pleasant episodes and romantic exuberances-a life with roses all the way. Even in my wildest dream I never imagined that life is full of so many tough choices.
Ishika's mother too must have had some such similar dreams.
Was it fulfilled? …
Was it?
…to be continued in the next issue.
By: Nilakshi Dutta
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