Love in the time of algorithms: India’s dating App saga

Swara Shah

(Psychology graduate from FLAME University, Pune.)

Dr. Moitrayee Das

(Assistant Professor of Psychology at FLAME University, Pune.)

In the land where arranged marriages once reigned supreme, a quiet revolution now unfolds on the luminous screens of millions. Dating apps, once only a Western curiosity, have become a cultural phenomenon in India, reshaping the landscape of love and relationships. But as the number of users swells—projected to reach 31 million by 2024—so does our understanding of the profound psychological impact these digital matchmakers wield. The psychology of the swipe is a fascinating dance of neurotransmitters and emotions. Dr. David Greenfield, founder of the Centre for Internet and Technology Addiction, likens the experience to a slot machine, with each swipe a pull of the lever. “The unpredictability of the matches releases dopamine in the brain,” he explains, “creating a reward cycle that can lead to addictive behaviors.” This ‘gamification’ of romance has real-world consequences, with a 2022 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships finding that 31% of Indian dating app users reported symptoms consistent with addiction.

But the psychological effects extend beyond mere addiction. The paradox of choice, a theory popularized by psychologist Barry Schwartz, looms extensively in the world of digital dating. With an endless parade of potential partners at their fingertips, users often find themselves paralysed by options, leading to decision fatigue and decreased satisfaction with their choices. A survey by the Indian Institute of Psychology found that 42% of active dating app users reported feeling overwhelmed by the number of potential matches.

The rise of ‘ghosting’—the practice of abruptly cutting off communication—has introduced new forms of rejection anxiety. Dr. Paulette Sherman, a psychologist and author of “Dating from the Inside Out,” notes that ghosting can trigger feelings of abandonment and lower self-esteem. In India, where cultural norms often discourage direct confrontation, ghosting has become particularly prevalent, with a 2023 survey by TrulyMadly revealing that 68% of Indian users have experienced being ghosted. Yet, these psychological perils pale in comparison to the tangible dangers lurking in the shadows of our screens. According to the National Crime Records Bureau, cybercrimes related to dating apps in India increased by 28% from 2021 to 2023. Of particular concern is the rise in cases of financial fraud, with romance scams costing Indian users an estimated Rs 150 crore in 2023 alone. The issue of consent and harassment looms large. A 2024 survey by the Internet and Mobile Association of India found that 37% of female dating app users in major Indian cities reported receiving unsolicited, explicit images. More alarmingly, 18% reported being stalked by someone they met on a dating app.

The Humsafar Trust, one of India’s oldest LGBTQ+ organizations, has repeatedly highlighted the risks of blackmail and extortion faced by queer app users. In a country where many LGBTQ+ individuals are not out to their families or employers, the threat of being outed through dating apps is substantial. This fear is not unfounded; there have been reported cases of individuals being lured through apps and then blackmailed with threats of exposure. Discrimination within the community is another significant issue. Profiles often reflect societal biases, with phrases like “No fems,””No trans,” or caste-based preferences being distressingly common. This digital manifestation of prejudice can be particularly harmful in an environment meant to foster connection and acceptance.

In response to these concerns, major players in the Indian market have introduced safety features. Bumble, for instance, launched an AI-powered feature in 2023 that blurs potentially lewd images, giving users the choice of whether to view them. Tinder introduced a panic button in partnership with the personal safety app Noonlight. However, critics argue these measures don’t go far enough, with only 52% of Indian users feeling “adequately protected” by current safety features, according to a 2024 survey by the Cyber Peace Foundation.

The ethical implications of data privacy add another layer of complexity. In 2023, the Personal Data Protection Bill put dating apps under increased scrutiny. A report by the Centre for Internet and Society found that the average dating app in India collects over 300 data points on each user, raising questions about data security and potential misuse. Despite all these challenges, dating apps continue to thrive in India, reflecting a deeper societal shift towards individual agency in matters of the heart. As millions of Indians swipe their way into an uncertain future, they’re not just seeking love; they’re redefining the very nature of relationships in the world’s largest democracy. The numbers are staggering: as of 2023, India boasts over 31 million dating app users, with projections suggesting this figure could surpass 45 million by 2025. Major cities like Mumbai, Delhi, and Bangalore account for nearly 60% of the user base, highlighting the urban-centric nature of this digital revolution. They’ve become unexpected allies in breaking down social barriers, with a 2023 study by IIT-Bombay finding that 28% of matches on Indian dating apps were between users of different castes.

In this grand experiment of digital love, we find ourselves navigating uncharted waters. A market valued at $323 million isn’t just about hearts and flowers; it’s a testament to the monetization of mankind’s most fundamental desire. As we swipe our way into an uncertain future, a darker undercurrent threatens to erode the very essence of human connection. The allure of the “next best thing” has morphed into a grotesque commodification of people, where individuals are treated as disposable entities in an endless quest for illusory perfection. This insidious mindset—the idea that there’s always someone better just a swipe away—has begun to corrode the foundations of meaningful relationships. We find ourselves caught in a paradox of our own making: in our pursuit of connection, we’ve created a culture of disconnection. Self-worth becomes inexorably tied to one’s’market value’ on these platforms, leading to a crisis of identity and self-esteem.

Moreover, this commodification of human beings threatens to bleed into our offline interactions, reshaping how we perceive and treat others in all spheres of life. The ease with which we discard potential connections online could translate into a general devaluation of human relationships, where people are seen as means to an end rather than ends in themselves. As we stand at this crossroads of technology and humanity, we must ask ourselves: Is this the future we envisioned? Can we harness the power of these digital Cupids while mitigating their darker impulses? Only time—and perhaps a few more right swipes—will tell.