Death is another shade of life when we walk this course of life; it is death that makes you realize that maybe life stops but the meaning that your life would have could be endless. Take that hiatus that your mind requires and ponder over these important nodes that would help you grow stronger.
The world is so
chaotic and I wish I could pause it for once to soak in all the emotions and
questions that ramble through my head as I look at this middle-aged boy
managing the shop after his father’s sudden demise. He works day and night to run his household; he probably wouldn’t
have thought that life could take a toll on him, his face looks dull and
gloomy. Who thought that death would be his next customer? How can we live life
to the fullest? I ask myself.
I sometimes wonder what would be running through that poor lad’s mind, will he give up or will he live up to make a living? There he was, once all bubbly, hanging out with his friends, passion was his driving force -- now he always keeps his head low and avoids conversation as much as possible. I then recall Thom Gunn’s poem, On the Move, where he talks about a man running a race in this mad world with no thought but only action. Does this boy feel the same? Is he willing to join the race where death is inevitable? What meaning does life hold for him? Is there no empathy? Will he remain as a scarred ship? At night when he hits the sack does he question: “How can I paint my dreams when life squeezed out all the colours from my rainbow?”
My gaze is blurred with tears as I keep looking at him, does he find it strange? Maybe, I can tell him that it’s okay to be not okay or should we run this maddening race and receive a reward of death.
Do we ever wonder what is life? And what does it mean to strive to live this life? Is it meaningful or do I have to live to make it meaningful; these thoughts break the stillness of my nights, but when the light hits the day, it’s up and on the move, again.
No time for ease, no time for peace.
I soon realized that we are always at war with the world, but have never fought the battles of our mind. We dread to open it because we don’t want anyone to wound us; hence we ride along the tides of life and attempt to solve everything around us.
We seek the glorious ways of life and try to appreciate it, not withstanding that we’re caught up in our own maze. We fight for the injustice around us but what about the injustice we do to ourselves. Are we open and vulnerable to grow or are we moving with the times and leaving us behind?
Truth is we have never been able to win the wars of the world, that’s why we still have peace treaties, summits or form a union to understand each other’s’ mind,
We teach others to adapt their lives to every colour but get flummoxed to see see our true colour. We wish everyone a healthy life but are we able to give ourselves that life?
It’s a melancholic state to have kept ourselves out from the life we ought to live for ourselves. Nevertheless, we are on the move, ignorant of these primal obstacles that impede us from living our lives to the fullest, even if death unexpectedly knocks on our door.
Looking at that middle-aged boy made me realize that we beings are bound by limitations. We are bound within it even if death was a part of it.
Imagine, if we were able to create a masterpiece every time we attempted something, we wouldn’t have acknowledged the art of mastering peace through failures and disappointments. We would have never appreciated those long gone who keep us on the move, we would have never had the Time to relate to Albert Einstein, Van Gogh’s paintingswould have never greased our minds nor Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Musing notes, which are and always will be remembered for their peculiarity.
Perhaps, that’s the reason why death is inevitably a part of our mundane. It tries to live in our soul to remind us of the importance of peace and acceptance. The cosmos thrives under such roots which is why we are less likely to wonder why every rose has a thorn or why every dusk has a dawn, why every good morning needs a good night and every hi needs a bye, just to reiterate the momentum of life and death.
We can join the race where death comes as the bargain. But we must be able to decipher if it’s just a mad race of life or a mindful race for life?
Death reminds us of the peace that we try to find in others. It walks close enough for us to be grateful for the life we have.
I woke up to reason that if the dead still live in our hearts, and if legends tread with no ends, then why can’t we make peace with our minds to live life worthy till it lasts.
Every resolution we make must take us further into placing ourselves on the move that will help paint our lives in the colour that we desire. We might not be able to create a remarkable painting like the Old Behrman, from “The Last Leaf .”
Nevertheless, we would be satisfied with our process of maintaining a balance with the world around and the beautiful world within us.
Life will hold meaning in knowing that there is still that spark of life within us, and that even if everything else falls out of place, we would be at peace with ourselves.
The great poet, Rabindranath Tagore desired to live in a mind that was without fear because it is this fearless feeling that will break the dawn of death even if the world broke into fragments.
It’s when I made peace with these thoughts that I took every move with an understanding that we’ve got to live the life we are meant to lead, we may not become great leaders who leave a remnant for others to follow, but we can be our own leaders, and living in this fast-paced world we need to take that realization from within us.
We must grow to acknowledge that life is complete with death. This acceptance of the bitter reality of life will help us stay intact and connected to ourselves and to this world. Death is another shade of life when we walk this course of life; it is death that makes you realize that maybe life stops but the meaning that your life would have could be endless. Take that hiatus that your mind requires and ponder over these important nodes that would help you grow stronger. You could be a teacher who believes to inspire, a student who learns to inspire, a leader who counts your polls or a counselor who cures the soul. But in the end, the only cure that counts is the what you inspire to teach yourself.
The real battle is won when you hit the sack to rest at night accepting every shade of life, realizing that although it might have run out of vibrant colours it still isn’t colourless and that life also takes rest, just like a passing tale. It’s when we reach this state that there wouldn’t be a call for peace because it would be living within us even as we sleep. (The writer Persis Jayakumar is a PG student of the Mass Communication Department, Assam Don Bosco University, Guwahati).