How I choose to remember Khanapara Koka forever

A sentinel of simplicity, knowledge and wisdom

Today, the 6th of February, 2024, marks the ten-day Adya Shraddha of my beloved Koka, Late Lakshindra Hazarika who was the elder brother of my late grandfather. It is with a heavy heart that I pen down this memory note for my beloved Koka, a man whose presence was a beacon of wisdom, kindness, and unwavering support. Koka’s departure leaves a void that everyone who loved him, will struggle to fill, but his legacy of love and guidance will forever resonate in my heart. I extend this memory note as a tribute to the cherished soul.

Lovingly called Khanapara Koka, he was to me, more than a family elder; he was a mentor, a friend, and a constant source of inspiration. From my earliest memories, he stood tall as a paragon of politeness, his soft voice and gentle gestures reflecting the grace with which he navigated life’s journey. His knowledge was vast, and his wisdom flowed effortlessly, leaving an indelible mark on my understanding of the world.

One of the unique aspects of our relationship was the way Koka treated me even from a young age, as a mini version of an adult. I remember he did not treat me as a child or a teenager who was dismissed due to age. He saw beyond the limitations of my age, acknowledging my presence and existence with the same respect he afforded to his peers. Never once did I feel overlooked as a child; instead, I felt uplifted by his belief in my potential for adult wisdom.

Koka’s love for literature, a passion we both shared, became a powerful bond between us. He nurtured my interest by gifting books whenever he could, each accompanied by a shared enthusiasm for exploring the world through literature—his appreciation for my academic pursuits, especially during my higher studies in Delhi was not just encouraging but profoundly motivating. It was his way of silently guiding me, weaving positivity into every aspect of my academic journey.

In the quiet and alone moments we shared, Koka effortlessly bridged the generational gap. His insights into practical life lessons, coupled with his genuine interest in my research topics, reflected a depth of understanding that transcended age. I often marvelled at how he, with his innate sense of guidance, positively influenced my academic choices, even when he might not have fully grasped the intricacies of my studies.

For someone who lost her grandfather in childhood, Koka stepped into that void with grace and love. While he may not have been effusive with emotional expressions as he never sugar-coated his words or tone with lovey-dovey expressions, his presence spoke volumes. Always ready to listen, observe, and provide a sense of unwavering support, he became a reflection and figure of my own lost grandfather’s spirit whom I never got a chance to bond with as an adult.

His departure leaves us with a mix of sorrow and gratitude—sorrow for the physical absence and gratitude for the invaluable lessons, love, and memories he bestowed upon us. Farewell, dear Grandpa, a gentle giant of wisdom. Your legacy will live on in the stories we share, the books you gifted, and the love that continues to echo in our hearts.

In Loving Remembrance,

– Pallavi Dutta

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