'Dubao Guwahati, Gelao Guwahati'

With the rainy season over, it is time for the Guwahati residents to take part wholeheartedly towards making Guwahati the "most unlivable and unhygienic city of the country" in the next few months. Nine senior officials of Guwahati Municipal Corporation, including an ex-Home Secretary, have already strengthened the foundation of making Guwahati flooded by siphoning off several crores of rupees meant for de-silting the city's water channels. Taking off from where these nava-ratnas of GMC had left, a section of residents immediately joined the 'Dubao Guwahati, Gelao Guwahati' campaign by religiously defying all appeals by the authorities and green NGOs to celebrate Diwali without bursting fire-crackers which cause both air pollution and sound pollution. Though Mother Nature tried to pour cold water on their efforts, the enthusiastic Guwahatians kept patience to wait for the day immediately after Diwali when the rains stopped, and put in their best efforts and went on a rampage of bursting firecrackers to push the Air Quality Index (AQI) of the city as low as they could. This section of Diwaliyas also very successfully dumped a large number of banana trunks along with leaves either in the roadside drains and streams or on the roads itself so that Guwahati could make a fast-forward move to clinch the "most unlivable and unhygienic city of the country" award as early as possible. What the GMC and the Urban Development department of the government should now do is organize a formal competition to give away certain awards to the citizens, so that Guwahati can remain the "most unlivable and unhygienic city of the country" for all times to come. These awards could be in a few categories, including, say (i) locality where most people dump domestic garbage in drains, and water channels, and (ii) locality where most people throw garbage on the roadside. Similarly, an award can also be given to that locality where the maximum number of residents go for a morning walk to simultaneously help their dogs defecate on the roadside and in front of their neighbours' gates. Yet another award – the 'Rape Bharalu award' – can be instituted for those residential areas which are located along the Bharalu river, with a group of judges identifying through spot visits which area has been able to throw maximum garbage on it.