Board Exam Results Cause Anxiety: Be Emotionally Present for your Child

It is advisable to avoid repeated discussions about the examinations and results as this will only create more stress for the child. It is better to take some time away from it as a whole. At this point it is very crucial to express your unconditional love to your children. The very fact that parents are always there creates a safe space for children to come back to, to regroup and prepare for future journeys. Also consciously avoid comparisons between siblings and peers as this creates a sense of despair for the child. Instead work on motivating your child to assess self strengths and plan ahead. 

I vividly recall my class ten boards. The steady stream of visitors in our house made it seem like a festival or family event. Needless to say the week leading to my boards had brought in fear and trepidation. Few well meaning family members presented gifts like pen sets and said- "You write your exams with this pen and you will definitely do well!" A similar environment persisted before the results were declared and on the D Day too. Advices, criticisms and what could have been done differently continued.

What remained constant for me as a young teen (in those days) was the constant calming and reassuring presence of my parents. More than the preparations or results, they were very concerned about how I was feeling. After all these years, if one asks about my tenth boards all that I can actually remember is the calming presence of my parents.

Parents play the most important role in nurturing the emotional health and well being of their children. This is particularly critical in relation to academics and board examinations. Awaiting the board results is always a mixed feeling and the D day brings in feelings of joy for some and sorrow for some. It is very important to manage the emotional wellbeing of young students during this time. Our reactions as parents play a huge impact on how our children will eventually perceive themselves in their later lives. Marks do not define an individual. Yes, agreed our education system is such that marks are an important component. However, it is imperative to look beyond the mark sheet and nurture and enable children to be who they are meant to be. This can happen only when we engage with them at an emotional level.

This however doesn't mean that one needs to put up an act and keep praising the child or his/her performance. Feel free to express your disappointment if any and enable your child to do the same too. It is essential to ventilate one's feelings as a family. This is healthy for all concerned. Make sure to comfort your child without getting into a blame game with the standard-if only….. , had you…….etc. It is only but natural to have a tendency to look back and analyze where things could have been done better. But keep that aside for later days when the mind is well rested and receptive.

It is advisable to avoid repeated discussions about the examinations and results as this will only create more stress for the child. It is better to take some time away from it as a whole. At this point it is very crucial to express your unconditional love to your children. The very fact that parents are always there creates a safe space for children to come back to, to regroup and prepare for future journeys. Also consciously avoid comparisons between siblings and peers as this creates a sense of despair for the child. Instead work on motivating your child to assess self strengths and plan ahead. Please remember every child is unique and has their own strengths. We just need to provide a safe space for them to explore and discover and develop themselves.

Definitely some amount of sadness is inevitable if the scores are not upto the expectations. However, it is crucial to guard against any severe changes in mood or behaviour. As a parent you should observe and monitor your child's mood without making him/her conscious or guilty. If there are too many mood fluctuations it is recommended to take your child for psychological counselling and seek professional help.

Gariasi Dutta

Psychological Counsellor

down town hospital

dutta.gariasi@gmail.com

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