Striking a Chord with In-laws: it’s all About Understandings

The in-laws, or to be precise, the parents often play a key role in the lives of their children, even after their children get matured and grown up enough to have their own lives and start a family. But, it is seen that in some instances, the newlywed bride or the daughter-in-law often finds it troublesome to strike a chord with the mother-in-law. Sometimes, it is a fault of the new member into the family or otherwise, it is the elders who are not ready to accept or get introduced to a change in their life.

At the starting point, it is a responsibility of both the parties to put possible efforts and understandings in order to make the journey smooth and pleasant. The new bride or daughter-in-law would always have to be ready to accept something new, however, not going beyond her limits. There is, of course, a limit to everything and one must keep that in mind, whether it is the daughter-in-law or the parents-in-law.

Clinical psychologist, Mary George Varghese, says, “Whether it is an arranged or love marriage, the points of disagreements are usually the same — differences about the guest list, who spends for what during the wedding, making it an expensive or inexpensive affair, you may want to spend on outfits whereas, your partner and his/her family want to splurge on food or something else, the venue, menu, décor and jewellery among other things.”

Suyog V Jaiswal, assistant professor in psychiatry, HBT Medical College, however, says, “Humans take time to adapt to new situations. Differences arise when both a wife and the in-laws are not able to adapt to their new environment. Of course, there are many other factors as well. It’s easier for joint families to take in a new family member. The very essence of a joint family is about coexistence despite differences. However, an individual’s relationship nurturing can take an equal amount of efforts on behalf of the husband or his wife.”

The solution to the issue is bridging the gap with adequate talks, discussion and passing quality time in the form of movie-going, gifts sharing, dinner outings, and family visits.

Also read: Life