Violence as a Marker of Masculinity

he recent "Bois Locker Room" scandal, where a group of school boys had created an Instagram group chat to share photos of underage girls (many of them their classmates) making vulgar comments including planning sexual assaults on the girls, has shocked and appalled us all. Across media and social media platforms, we are all expressing our outrage and demanding an end to this toxic masculine culture. While this outpour of rage and despair is quite understandable, we must all recognize that expression of toxic masculinity does not happen in isolated ways and is deeply entrenched in our patriarchal belief systems that sanction and normalize everyday sexism, misogyny and violence.

To speak of masculinities, is to speak of gender relations. Masculinities are not the same as men, it concerns the position of men in gender power hierarchies - where men (and other genders) display patterns of behaviour that is viewed as intrinsic to their position. How do we learn to display such behaviour? The process starts the moment we are born and continues throughout our lives – "boys don't cry", "girls love pink", "boys will be boys", "Boys are tough", "Girls are emotional" – so many ways in which a set of expectations are created that dictates how someone labeled a man or someone labeled a woman should behave. The notion of 'control' (or even oppression), in myriad of ways, is integral to masculinity and manhood, providing a framework for placing man in relation to women. Manhood is reaffirmed with a display of sexual competence and accomplishment that often takes violent forms. Women are expected to be demure and restrained, while male sexual behaviour is constructed as impulsive and uncontrollable. Gender norms thus emerge from prevailing patterns of hegemony and patriarchy and are in turn reinforced by families, communities and social, political and cultural institutions.

Such hetero-patriarchal ordering of femininities and masculinities is by no means a reality unique to our context. Let's take for instance Donald Trump's 2016 Presidential campaign, where he defended a 2005 hot-mic excerpt, in which he was recorded bragging about groping, kissing, and forcing himself upon women – an action he boisterously defended as "Locker room talk". The defense of such behaviour by saying that men need spaces where they "let their guard down" is to say that without such guards all men reek of extreme sexism and misogyny. It is, therefore, imperative that we look at how masculinities (and femininities) are socially practiced and how such practices come to be defined and negotiated in the lives of adolescent school going boys. Boys in such chat groups may hardly comprehend the meaning of terms like sexism and misogyny – yet such beliefs and attitudes have become embedded in their lives. How do these young boys perform their masculinities? The notion of performing gender roles was popularized by American post-structuralist philosopher Judith Butler. Moving away from perceiving gender as only a social construct, Butler argues against a simple split between sex and gender or nature and culture, but calls for examining our repeated words and actions that naturalizes and consolidates the idea of being a man or a woman. Social experiences of young boys expose them to a pecking order of masculinities, reinforced by repeated practices that ridicule and bully "sissy boys", perpetuate homophobia, making it desirable to be 'studs' and 'real men' who can 'conquer' women.

Drawing attention to the ways (and the language) in which the male body and most significantly male sexuality are constructed, Susan Bordo (1999) brings out how equating of 'impotency', which is a medical issue, with loss of power and manhood, and the marketing of various drugs to enhance male sexual prowess are reflective of social constructions of maleness as controlling and aggressive, while girls are constantly being told to be "good", "pure" and "passive". The persistent romanticizing of hyper toxic masculinity coupled with distressed damsels who demurely desire tough violent love is eagerly consumed and applauded as intense love stories and movies like Kabir Singh goes on to be block busters. Accepting violence and particularly sexual violence as normal and at times even unavoidable has often led to unabashed victim shaming and blaming where women's bodies and choices are censured and held responsible for male toxicity.

Is there then a better way to raise our boys to escape this trap of toxic masculinity? For too long we have been only obsessed with bringing up our girls with 'right values'. We have been drilling into the heads of our girls - dress properly, cross your legs while sitting, come back home early, do not go out alone. Isn't it time we tell our boys – girls who are out alone are not 'available', everybody has the right to wear what they want, respect consent, no means no, rejection of your proposal is not a rejection of your manliness. We also must move away from trying to "help" women and girls in ways that reinforce an oppressive status quo. Let's not insist that women must be respected because "they could be your mother or sister", instead let's assert – "respect women because as that is the only way to treat another human being". The project of 'women's empowerment' cannot take off without corresponding shattering of masculine stereotypes and hegemonies. Former US President Barack Obama has been championing a mentoring programme as a solution to a "self-defeating model for being a man" in which respect is gained through violence. Various educational institutions across the world are now introducing classes and programmes that encourage boys and men to develop and embrace a healthy, progressive masculinity built on respect, empathy and care. While creating such platforms, it must also be acknowledged that all men do not share the same experiences of masculine privilege, just as all women do not share the same experience of gender inequality. Also, masculinity itself is not toxic and is often shaped by class, race, culture, sexuality, and other factors.

We cannot, therefore, pronounce only an instance like "Bois Locker Room" as a toxic masculine space unless we recognize that this toxicity is already present in the wider cultural context and must be countered. The real-life conditions and forces that sustain such a culture of toxicity, misogyny and sexism must be examined and addressed. In the absence of such introspection and corresponding action at familial, societal and institutional levels, we will continue to foster normalization of violence as a marker of masculinity.

Writter By : Upasana Mahanta is a Professor at Jindal Global Law School, O.P. Jindal Global University.  

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