Imprints of a Lifetime

The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.

– Lois Lowry, The Giver

Memories indeed need to be shared. They visited their most memorable childhood abode, the place where they spent four golden years of their early childhood with the genius of a person- Rupkonwar Jyoti Prasad Agarwalla, who happened to be their father. Joyshree Chaliha, Gyaneshwari Pathak and Satyashree Das- the three of the five daughters of Jyoti Prasad Agarwalla - visited their father’s birthplace-Tamulbari Tea Estate on the 6th of this month.

The colonial era bungalow, it will not be proper to term it as dilapidated, rather ‘un-kept’ or ‘ill maintained’ would be a better choice, wore a lively look on the day. A jhoomoor troupe comprising teen girls and boys of the tea garden and two enthusiastic garden babus, who happened to be ardent proponents of Jyoti Xongeet, welcomed the ‘daughters of the house’ who were visiting after decades, with a mesmerizing display or dance and rendition of their father’s songs.

Standing at a corner and away from the crowd, rather, at a lonesome distance, I could envision the ‘pains of memories’ gradually permeating their hearts. “Father used to sit here, he used to receive his guests there, this is the place where Chandra Kumar Agarwalla used to write, and this is where we used to sleep”- the floodgates gave way to a barrage of memories that were cocooned deep within their hearts and minds. In those moments-the moments when the three elderly daughters made time fly to the early forties, somehow transformed them into carefree young girls, searching for berries, roaming the riverside, or just loitering in the vast expanse of their bungalow.

Human life revolves around fulfilling needs-whether material, physical or emotional. And in the quest to fulfill those needs, we tend to forget the basic essence of what constitutes life. Life is all about being what we are, accepting what we get and moving ahead while leaving an imprint. These imprints, in due course constitute memories. That day, I could sense Rupkonwar sitting on the staircase with a humble tea garden worker, the romantic loneliness of the place and also, could feel the pristine air loaded with the essence of Rupkonwar’s Karmic presence. Such is the power of memories! Life is more than what we reason it to be. We just need to pause for a while, shut our eyes and minds and just float with the realm of nothingness. This pleasures our mind and soul.

Memories speak; we only need to hear those. The reality of losing your parents at a very young age could only be felt and understood by those who have had to suffer the sad reality. I could feel the pain of the daughters of Roopkonwar when they expressed their sadness of having to lose their parents so early in life. “I could feel the presence of Maa while entering the bungalow perimeter” was what one of them stated. I somehow envisioned their mother cuddling them in her arms, running her fingers through their hair, crooning a lullaby; there is a subtle joyous sadness in these memories. On the one hand you were physically present in the house that was once your ‘home’ decades earlier, but the essence of homeliness is nowhere to be found now; it is only a huge emptiness of a house. The material loss can be compensated anytime, but what about the emotional void? Can those be ever fulfilled? I do not think so. This is the reason why we all need to pause for a while and retrospect in our lives. Are we not becoming enslaved by the mechanical pace of what we nonsensically term as ‘life”?

Times have changed, as they say. Times have really changed, but I do not agree to the view expressed by many that changing times have eroded the ethos of human emotions. Humanity is not only about a mechanical few, there are many exceptions. The younger generation holds amongst them, a nucleus of young and beautiful souls. In my association with them as a motivator, I have had the privilege of meeting and mingling with a lot of them. More I interacted with them, shared their joys and tears, the better I could identify myself with their thought process and their emotional state. They are a determined lot. The combination of determination and fearlessness to explore is what makes the present generation accept the ‘good’ of the generations that passed by. I have noticed lot of young and enthusiastic university students wanting to spend their time with the daughters of the cultural icon-Rupkonwar Jyoti Prasad Agarwalla. This is encouraging to say the least. It is not pessimism and pessimistic thoughts and memories that should rule our lives, but optimistic attitude and a love for giving importance to our memories and treasuring those in the right manner is what should be the dictating factor in us. In conclusion, I must admit that memories indeed are the treasure-trove of our lives, we should not forget our past, we should rather treasure those and create ‘imprints’ that stand the test of time.

– Pransu Raj Kaushik